I know it s been long time that didnt write... It was one of the hardest month and still it s ...
One month ago I started feel so much contractions... I mean really contractions not braxton hicks... And it was 2 full days i felt in that way and it was time-to-time... But after all there was nothing... I really mean no baby... but had more and more contractions, cramps in every part of my legs and hips, and so much pressure but still nothing...I finally reached my due date yesterday and had some hope on Monday night after meeting at the church... And couldnt sleep because of the pain and running to bathroom almost every 15 mins... So I had hope this lil girl will come at the right time but when i wake up morning there was nothing...
And now I m overdue. And there s more strong pains with back-pain... Still waiting... I cant be sure what those are really now...But even I m writing this post I m in much more pain I had ever... I m afraid to have a false labor again... I dont want it... I cant handle it... I just wanna see my lil girl and go back into life again... My other two kids need me and i need them so desperately...
I just cant bear that not-enough-mama feelings little bit long...
And by the way Odelia had chickenpox... Yes it was a CHICKENPOX... And i had 2 little ones who have itchy body, high-fever and who needs to cuddles...
So when I was praying I just repent that I was trying to have my lil girl the time I want... But not waiting what s the best time for God... Trying to do my own timing... but not really Jesus timing... When Odelia had chickenpox that time I understood that God has a perfect timing... Praise Him that my lil girl didnt come one month ago...Otherwise it would be danger to have her and a chickenpox-child...
So I m so happy for Odelia's chickenpox finished and she s feeling better... And Yuhanna s 2 years old...
I wish i could contunie more for this post but I cant sit even... Having lots of strong pain/contractions whatever you name it...
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